My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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