Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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