his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
