Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
