Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he quoted the bible to break up with me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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