Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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