You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
