i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
