Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
