She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We are two peas in an std pod
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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