Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
