Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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