my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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