"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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