he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize