You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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