I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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