'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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