You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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