he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
