Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
