the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
