i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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