omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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