I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
