You really coming over, don't trick.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
