i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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