after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
