Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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