What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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