Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
