Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
