i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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