Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
