How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
