I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
