Christians are straight up FREAKS
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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