I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
