We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
