Umm I'm too high to move.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Randomize
