So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
