you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
