I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
