you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
