How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
