as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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