You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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