Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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