i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
