are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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