Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
