i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
