I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
