but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
