Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
