I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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