the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
