So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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