This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize