True but thats because hes a fetus.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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