So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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