ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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