That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
