OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
